more funny stuffz - (from yawn hway)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

haha kinda funny - (from george)
Never say these things to a cop:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? You know, the ugly one?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

im baaaaaaaaaaak!
um ill tell about it later don't feel like postin much rite now

wooooah

hahahah

hi my pants smell like SHIT
and not becuz i shit my pants...but its cuz my bro washed dem, didn't take em out of the washer, and left it wet overnight
now it fuckin has like mold and shit growin on it and it smellz
=\ damn it SAVE MY PANTS!!!
ok gotta finish packing

...my pants smell

goin to music camp tomorro!! time to pak and stuffz =\
ill bring my fone up dere...hopefully i get reception!!
haha u can STILL gimme a call =)
ok dat is all
oh yeah...i only have 2 books for 1st semesteR!! MMUAHAHAHAH!
but i see dat fuckin calc book again >=\ here comes more C's sighz

o1. ap comp sci reiske
o2. symph orch 3 forbes
o3. ap calc b king
o4. networking chapman
o5. ap comprtv gov onderdonk
o6. shakespeare sutliff

phew nice rimz

to my blog =)

YAYAYYAYAY I FINALLY setup my fuxin network with XP
damn...never got around to doing it =D now im happy haha
oh yea thx david for the XP cD! i got to work w/ the cdkey and all..u fuckin copied a couple digits and shit wrong haha but i found it online and copied it rite
oh yeah i totally you the other day harharhar ask paul it was like...1 2 3 i win

wtF o.O

o yeh i didn't get that 2nd copy of warcraft 3 so yeah...don't ask me about it please =) haha thx

WTF IM GOING CRAZY!
i thought the doorbell just rang
but it didn't
...wtf...

hi =) feel like a postin mood
wow i just studied sum math iic....i can't believe it!! I STUDIED!! during the summer too!!
shit that was a hard hour =\
n e wayz...went to ontario yesterday...it waz koo =) its so BIG! and pretty fun too
too bad i just went w/ my family...like these store people would be like wussup...and i'd b all alone..yeah...and just say sup hahah
its weird shoppin by myself =X
but yeh i finally met my cousin! HI ALICE! yea she goes to our skoo but i neva see her around =\ say hi if you see her around
ummm today i played sum golf...yea....my handz are paralyzed o.O
i suck soooooooo much at it lol damn if u wanna gimme sum free lessons im willing to learn =\
alrighty...das all...oohhh can't wait for X X X =D
stupidass david...wen'z he comin bak from taiwan? i saved dat 1 for him... X X X !!!

wow mtv has sum pretty koo shows =)
they had dat TRUE LIFE of a STREETRACER thingy...nice integra in it and stuffz
ummmmm dey also had dis thing...i dink it was like CRIBS except it was about how rappers are so rich and hav crazy cars and shit haha
damn i wanna b rich too!!
n e wayz...dere goes 2 hours of life

porky1011 (7:02:48 PM): FUCKING
porky1011 (7:02:54 PM): chicken BALLZ
porky1011 (7:02:59 PM): i ALMOST ATE CHICKEN BALLZ

yawn hway won't tell me how much money she has in her bank account
wut a bish

Aznluap1 (2:02:41 PM): can u smell what luap is cooking?

CARBON FIBER TOILET SEAT!!
for the low low price of $140 =X

Only in America.........................
1......can a pizza get to your house faster than
an ambulance.

2.......are there handicap parking places in front
of a skating rink.

3.......do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4.......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.

5.......do banks leave both doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.

6.......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7.......do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)

9.......do we use the word 'politics' to describe
the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10.......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

its gonna look like dis -

PLEEEEASE someone buy from me!!! =\

fuk i dink i just accidently placed 2 orders instead of 1 for warcraft 3 >=\
fuck fuck fuck im so stupid lalala
hey so yeah if any1 wants to buy a warcraft 3...BRAND NEW!! (hasn't even arrived in the mail) ill sell u for just $50 =D as compared to $59.99 + tax in stores... so dere u go IM or gimme a call if u want it cuz im a huge idiot =( I dink its gonna be undead cover

Aznluap1 (6:08:25 PM): Ah... all that water runnin down mah body through my hair and my face and chest and ahhh... sexxxy... in the shower!

luap has finally done it...he's said somethin koo enuff to be in my blog =D

awww nutz i dink the counter thingy for dis page broke =\

hahahah